幽默英语名言 幽默英语名言警句

2021-11-12 15:45:00  人气 119243    名人名言  
很多啊如[br]  1.Practicemakesperfect.熟能生巧。[br]  [br]  2.Godhelpsthosewhohelpthemselves.天助自助者。[br]  3.Easiersaidthandone.说起来容易做起来难。[br]  4.Wherethereisawill,thereisaway.有志者事竟成。[br]  5.Onefalsestepwillmakeagreatdifference.失之毫厘,谬之千里。[br]  6.Slowandsteadywinstherace.稳扎稳打无往而不胜。[br]  7.Afallintothepit,againinyourwit.吃一堑,长一智。[br]  8.Experienceisthemotherofwisdom.实践出真知。[br]  9.Allworkandnoplaymakesjackadullboy.只工作不休息,聪明孩子也变傻。[br]  搞笑英文格言?在线等  Oneshouldloveanimals.Theyaresotasty.[br]  每个人都应该热爱动物,因为它们很好吃。[br]  Savewater.Showerwithyourgirlfriend.[br]  要节约用水,尽量和女友一起洗澡。[br]  Behindeverysuccessfulman,thereisawoman.Andbehindeveryunsuccessfulman,therearetwo.[br]  每个成功男人的背后,都有一个女人;每个不成功男人的背后,都有两个。[br]  Successisarelativeterm.Itbringssomanyrelatives.[br]  成功是一个相关名词,他会给你带来很多不相关的亲戚。Loveisphotogenic.Itneedsdarknesstodevelop.^[br]  爱情就像照片,需要大量的暗房时间来培养。[br]  Childreninbackseatscauseaccidents.Accidentsinbackseatscausechildren.[br]  后排座位上的小孩会发生意外,后排座位上的意外会生出小孩。〃[br]  Yourfuturedependsonyourdreams.〃[br]  “现在的梦想决定着你的将来,”所以还是再睡一会吧。[br]  〃Hardworkneverkilledanybody."Butwhytaketherisk?“努力工作不会导致死亡!”不过我不会用自己去证明。[br]  Godmaderelatives;ThankGodwecanchooseourfriends.[br]  上帝决定了谁是你的亲戚,幸运的是在选择朋友方面他给你留了余地。[br]  Themoreyoulearn,themoreyouknow,Themoreyouknow,themoreyouforget.Themoreyouforget,thelessyouknow.Sowhybothertolearn?[br]  学的越多,知道的越多;知道的越多,忘记的越多;忘记的越多,知道的越少,为什么学来着?[br]  有趣英语句子或英语名言  Abankerisafellowwholendsyouhisumbrellawhenthe[br]  sunisshiningandwantsitbacktheminuteit[br]  beginstorain.[br]  MarkTwain[br]  [br]  Acomputeroncebeatmeatchess,butitwasno[br]  matchfor[br]  meatkickboxing.[br]  EmoPhilips[br]  [br]  Afastwordaboutoralcontraception.Iaskedagirl[br]  togo[br]  tobedwithmeandshesaid'no'.[br]  WoodyAllen[br]  [br]  Agoodsermonshouldbelikeawoman'sskirt:short[br]  enough[br]  torousetheinterest,butlongenoughtocoverthe[br]  essentials.[br]  RonaldKnox[br]  [br]  Ahardmanisgoodtofind.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Amancanbeshortanddumpyandgettingbaldbutif[br]  hehas[br]  fire,womenwilllikehim.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Amaninloveisincompleteuntilhehasmarried.[br]  Thenhe's[br]  finished.[br]  ZsaZsaGabor[br]  [br]  Amaninthehouseisworthtwointhestreet.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Aman'sonlyasoldasthewomanhefeels.[br]  GrouchoMarx[br]  [br]  Averbalcontractisn'tworththepaperitis[br]  writtenon.[br]  SamGoldwyn[br]  [br]  Awomandrovemetodrink,andIneverevenhadthe[br]  courtesy[br]  tothankher.[br]  W.C.Fields[br]  [br]  Awomanisonlyawoman,butagoodcigarisa[br]  smoke.[br]  RudyardKipling[br]  [br]  Acceptthatsomedaysyouarethepigeon,andsome[br]  daysyou[br]  arethestatue.[br]  Dilbert[br]  [br]  Actingisallabouthonesty.Ifyoucanfakethat,[br]  you've[br]  gotitmade.[br]  GeorgeBurns[br]  [br]  Ah,beer,myoneweakness.Myachillesheel,ifyou[br]  will.[br]  HomerSimpson[br]  [br]  Ah,goodol'trustworthybeer.Myloveforyouwill[br]  never[br]  die.[br]  HomerSimpson[br]  [br]  Allanimalsareequalbutsomearemoreequalthan[br]  others.[br]  GeorgeOrwell[br]  [br]  AllthethingsIreallylikeareeitherimmoral,[br]  illegalor[br]  fattening.[br]  AlexanderWoollcott[br]  [br]  Allwomenbecomeliketheirmothers.Thatistheir[br]  tragedy.[br]  Nomandoes.That'shis.[br]  OscarWilde[br]  [br]  Allyouneedinthislifeisignoranceand[br]  confidence,and[br]  thensuccessissure.[br]  MarkTwain[br]  [br]  Althoughpreparedformartyrdom,Ipreferredthatit[br]  bepostponed.[br]  WinstonChurchill[br]  [br]  Alwaysdoright-thiswillgratifysomeand[br]  astonishthe[br]  rest.[br]  MarkTwain[br]  [br]  Alwaysforgiveyourenemies.Nothingannoysthemso[br]  much.[br]  OscarWilde[br]  [br]  Anorgasmadaykeepsthedoctoraway.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Anothergoodthingaboutbeingpooristhatwhenyou[br]  areseventy[br]  yourchildrenwillnothavedeclaredyoulegally[br]  insanein[br]  ordertogaincontrolofyourestate.[br]  WoodyAllen[br]  [br]  Anothersuchvictory,andweareundone.[br]  Pyrrhus[br]  [br]  Anyonewhosayshecanseethroughwomenismissinga[br]  lot.[br]  GrouchoMarx[br]  [br]  Anythingworthdoingisworthdoingslowly.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Asthepoetsaid,"OnlyGodcanmakeatree"-[br]  probably[br]  becauseit'ssohardtofigureouthowtogetthe[br]  barkon.[br]  WoodyAllen[br]  [br]  Askmenoquestions,andI'lltellyounolies.[br]  OliverGoldsmith[br]  [br]  Avoidemployingunluckypeople.Throwhalfofthe[br]  pileof[br]  CVsinthebinwithoutreadingthem.[br]  DavidBrent[br]  [br]  Bart,stoppesteringSatan![br]  MargeSimpson[br]  [br]  Bart,with$10,000,we'dbemillionaires!Wecould[br]  buyall[br]  kindsofusefulthingslike...love![br]  HomerSimpson[br]  [br]  Basicallymywifewasimmature.I'dbeinmybath[br]  andshe'd[br]  comeinandsinkmyboats.[br]  WoodyAllen[br]  [br]  Becarefulaboutreadinghealthbooks.Youmaydie[br]  ofamisprint.[br]  MarkTwain[br]  [br]  BeerislivingproofthatGodlovesusandwantsus[br]  tobe[br]  happy.[br]  BenjaminFranklin[br]  [br]  Betweentwoevils,IalwayspicktheoneInever[br]  triedbefore.[br]  MaeWest[br]  [br]  Biologicallyspeaking,ifsomethingbitesyou,itis[br]  more[br]  likelytobefemale.[br]  DesmondMorris[br]  [br]  Butalifetimeofhappiness!Nomanalivecouldbear[br]  it:it[br]  wouldbehellonearth.[br]  GeorgeBernardShaw[br]  [br]  Byallmeansmarry;ifyougetagoodwife,you'll[br]  behappy;[br]  ifyougetabadone,you'llbecomeaphilosopher.[br]  Socrates[br]  搞笑的英语句子  老妈叫我翻译!!!(超强爆笑)[br]  今天我正在看碟,老妈又捧了本书进来,说道:给我讲讲这几句话什么意思[br]  老妈:这个“idon’tknow.“是什么意思?[br]  我说:“我不知道”[br]  老妈:送你上大学上了几年,你怎么什么都不知道!![br]  我说:不是!就是“我不知道”吗![br]  老妈:还嘴硬!!!!$@%!#$^&%#$%@$%@#$%!^%^!^%$^#&..(一顿爆揍)[br]  老妈:你在给我说说这个。“iknow.“是什么意思你该知道吧,给我说说。[br]  我说:是“我知道“[br]  老妈:知道就快说。[br]  我说:就是“我知道“[br]  老妈:找茬呀你?刚才收拾你收拾的轻了是不?[br]  我说:就是我知道呀![br]  老妈:知道你还不说!!不懂不要装懂!&*$%^@$#!%$@^%#*$^^^##$%(又一顿爆揍)[br]  老妈:你给我小心点,花那么多钱送你上大学,搞的现在什么都不会,会那么一丁点东西还跟老娘摆谱,再问你最后一个,你给我好好解释一下,说不出来我在收拾你,你给我翻译一下“iknowbutidon’twanttotellyou.“是什么意思?[br]  我晕倒,拿起枕头往头上爆砸三十几下,用头撞墙四十多下,双手轮番抽自己嘴巴五十多下,用腿踢桌子角六十多下,血肉模糊之时,我问老妈:这下你满意吧[br]  这不她老人家又来问我了:“儿啊,i`mveryannoyance,don`ttuoubleme.是什么意思啊~?“[br]  我:“我很烦,别烦我“[br]  老妈:“找打,跟你妈这么说话“(于是被扁)[br]  老妈又问;“ihearnothing,repeat.是what意思啊“[br]  我说:“我没听清,再说一次“[br]  老妈又说了一遍:ihearnothing,repeat“[br]  “我没听清,再说一次“[br]  结果被扁[br]  老妈再问:“whatdoyousay“又怎么解释呢“[br]  我说:“你说什么“(再次被扁)[br]  老妈再问:“lookupinthedictionary“是何意啊’[br]  我说:“查字典“[br]  “查字典我还问你做甚“(被扁)[br]  老妈又问:youhadbetterasksomebody.怎么翻呢“[br]  我说:“你最好问别人“[br]  “你是我儿子,我问别人干吗,又找打.“[br]  “啊!godsaveme!“[br]  “上帝救救我吧!”[br]  “耍你老妈玩,上帝也救不了你!(被扁)[br]  我再问你:“useyouhead,thenthinkitover,又是什么意思啊!“[br]  我说:“动动脑子,再仔细想想.“[br]  “臭小子,还敢耍我“接着又要动手[br]  我连忙说:“是世上只有妈妈好的意思”[br]  “嗯,这还差不多,一会我给你做好吃的,明天再问你”[br]  找英语的搞笑名言!!!!速度啊!  如果能博你一笑,不妨支持一下!!![br]  1.Wetwowhoandwho?[br]  咱俩谁跟谁啊![br]  2.Howareyou?howoldareyou?[br]  怎么是你,怎么老是你?[br]  3.Youdon'tbirdme,Idon'tbirdyou.[br]  你不鸟我,我也不鸟你[br]  4.YouhaveseedIwillgiveyousomecolortoseesee,brothers!together[br]  你有种,我要给你点颜色瞧瞧,兄弟们,一起上![br]  5.Helloeverybody!ifyouhavesomethingtosay,thensay!ifyouhavenothingtosay,gohome!![br]  有事起奏,无事退朝[br]  6.WhatisIMU3.0?itisakindofchattool![br]  什么是IMU3.0?IMU3.0是一种聊天工具![br]  7.YouGiveMeStop!![br]  你给我站住![br]  8.Knowisknownoknowisnoknow.[br]  知之为知之,不知为不知…[br]  9.WATCHSISTER[br]  表妹[br]  10.IMU3.0bothcandowhat???[br]  IMU上直接查找和添加QQ、MSN好友。在2.6版本中,IMU虽然兼容了QQ和MSN,但纯粹是把QQ、MSN的用户群绑定在IMU界面上,既不能添加好友也不能互发文件,造成许多不便。现在,3.0终于做到了完全兼容,以后只要打开IMU3.0,所有聊天工具一网打尽。[br]  11.AmericanChinesenotenough[br]  美中不足[br]  13.heartflowerangryopen[br]  心花怒放[br]  14.gopastnomistakepast[br]  走过路过,不要错过[br]  15.小明:Iamsorry![br]  老外:Iamsorrytoo![br]  小明:Iamsorrythree![br]  老外:Whatareyousorryfor?[br]  小明:Iamsorryfive![br]  16.Ifyouwantmoney,Ihaveno;ifyouwantlife,Ihaveone![br]  要钱没有,要命一条。[br]  17.IcallLioldbig.toyear25.[br]  我叫李老大,今年25。[br]  18.Youhavetwodownson。[br]  你有两下子。[br]  19.asfarasyougotodie[br]  有多远,死多远!!!![br]  20.Igiveyoufaceyoudon''twannaface,youloseyouface,Iturnmyface.[br]  给你脸你不要脸,你丢脸,我翻脸。[br]  谁有英语幽默短文,小故事,名人名言  1·英语幽默:Secondlanguage[br]  Amothermousewasoutforastrollwithherbabieswhenshespottedacatcrouchedbehindabush.Shewatchedthecat,andthecatwatchedthemice.[br]  Mothermousebarkedfiercely,"Woof,woof,woof!"Thecatwassoterrifiedthatitranforit'slife.[br]  Mothermouseturnedtoherbabiesandsaid,"Now,doyouunderstandthevalueofasecondlanguage?"[br]  一只母老鼠带着孩子出来散步,突然她看见一只猫正在灌木丛中虎视耽耽。[br]  母老鼠向着猫叫道:“汪,汪,汪”,猫听了非常害怕,拼命跑走了。[br]  母老鼠回过头洋洋自得的对孩子说:“现在你知道外语的重要性了吧。”[br]  2·英语小故事——AGoodBoy[br]  LittleRobertaskedhismotherfortwocents.“WhatdidyoudowiththemoneyIgaveyouyesterday?”[br]  "Igaveittoapooroldwoman,”heanswered.[br]  "You'reagoodboy,”saidthemotherproudly.“Herearetwocentsmore.Butwhyareyousointerestedintheoldwoman?”[br]  "Sheistheonewhosellsthecandy.”[br]  小罗伯特向妈妈要两分钱。[br]  “昨天给你的钱干什么了?”[br]  “我给了一个可怜的老太婆,”他回答说。“你真是个好孩子,”妈妈骄傲地说。“再给你两分钱。可你为什么对那位老太太那么感兴趣呢?”[br]  “她是个卖糖果的。”[br]  2、小学生英语小故事——TheHippoandI[br]  Ahippolivesinthezoo.Ilikehimverymuch.Ioftengotoseehim.Heoftenthinksofme,too.TodayisSunday.Itisfinetoday.Igotoseehimagain.AfterIleavethezoo,hefollowsmetomyhouse.Igivehimlettuce,cabbages,bananas,applesandotherfood.Heeatsthemup.WhenIsingsongs,hestaysinthepool.Heisasquietasarabbit.[br]  Intheevening,hejumpsontomybedwithme.Mymumtellshimtogohome.Hehastopackhisbagandgobacktothezoo.Mymumletsmeseehimeveryweek.[br]  河马住在动物园里,我很喜欢他。他经常去看它,他也经常想我。[br]  今天是星期日,是个好天气,我又一次去看望它。在我离开动物园之后,他跟随到我的家。我给他莴苣、生菜、香蕉、苹果和其他食物。他都吃了。[br]  当我唱歌是,它待在水池里,像兔子一样安静。[br]  晚上,他跳到床上同我睡觉在一起睡。[br]  妈妈要它回家。它不得不背起包回到动物园。妈妈允许我每周去看它。[br]  3·英语励志名人名言[br]  1、Allthingsintheirbeingaregoodforsomething.[br]  天生我才必有用。[br]  2、Difficultcircumstancesserveasatextbookoflifeforpeople.[br]  困难坎坷是人们的生活教科书。[br]  3、Failureisthemotherofsuccess.——ThomasPaine[br]  失败乃成功之母。[br]  4、Formanismanandmasterofhisfate.[br]  人就是人,是自己命运的主人。[br]  5、Theunexaminedlifeisnotworthliving.——Socrates[br]  混混噩噩的生活不值得过。——苏格拉底[br]  6、Noneisoffreedomoroflifedeservingunlesshedailyconquersitanew.——Erasmus[br]  只有每天再度战胜生活并夺取自由的人,才配享受生活的自由。[br]  7、Ourdestinyoffersnotthecupofdespair,butthechaliceofopportunity.Soletusseizeit,notinfear,butingladness.——R.M.Nixon[br]  命运给予我们的不是失望之酒,而是机会之杯。因此,让我们毫无畏惧,满心愉悦地把握命运。——尼克松[br]  8、Livingwithoutanaimislikesailingwithoutacompass.——JohnRuskin[br]  生活没有目标,犹如航海没有罗盘。--罗斯金[br]  9、Whatmakeslifedrearyisthewantofmotive.——GeorgeEliot[br]  没有了目的,生活便郁闷无光。——乔治·埃略特[br]  10、Toweringgeniusdisdainsabeatenpath.Itseeksregionshithertounexplored.——Lincoln[br]  卓越的天才不屑走旁人走过的路。他寻找迄今未开拓的地区。[br]  11、Thereisnosuchthingasagreattalentwithoutgreatwill-power.——Balzac[br]  没有伟大的意志力,便没有雄才大略。——巴尔扎克[br]  12、Thegoodseamanisknowninbadweather.[br]  惊涛骇浪,方显英雄本色。(励志名言)[br]  13、Fearnotthatthelifeshallcometoanend,butratherfearthatitshallneverhaveabeginning.——J.H.Newman[br]  不要害怕你的生活将要结束,应该担心你的生活永远不会真正开始。——纽曼[br]  14、Godsdeterminewhatyou'regoingtobe.——JuliusErving[br]  人生的奋斗目标决定你将成为怎样的人。——欧文[br]  15、Anaiminlifeistheonlyfortuneworthfinding.——RobertLouisStevenson[br]  生活的目标,是唯一值得寻找的财富。--史蒂文森[br]  16、Whilethereislifethereishope.[br]  一息若存,希望不灭。——英国谚语[br]  17、Trynottobecomeamanofsuccessbutrathertrytobecomeamanofvalue.——A.Einstein[br]  不要为成功而努力,要为做一个有价值的人而努力。——爱因斯坦[br]  18、Youhavetobelieveinyourself.That'sthesecretofsuccess.——CharlesChaplin[br]  人必须有自信,这是成功的秘密。——卓别林[br]  19、Pursueyourobject,beitwhatitwill,steadilyandindefatigably.[br]  不管追求什么目标,都应坚持不懈。[br]  20、Wemustacceptfinitedisappointment,butwemustneverloseinfinitehope.——MattinLutherKing[br]  我们必须接受失望,因为它是有限的,但千万不可失去希望,因为它是无穷的。——马丁·路德·金[br]  21、Energyandpersistenceconquerallthings.——BenjaminFranklin[br]  能量加毅力可以征服一切。——富兰克林[br]  22、Nothingseek,nothingfind.[br]  无所求则无所获。[br]  23、Ceasetostruggleandyouceasetolive.——ThomasCarlyle[br]  生命不止,奋斗不息。——卡莱尔[br]  24、Athousand-lijourneyisstartedbytakingthefirststep.[br]  千里之行,始于足下。[br][getwml=97]
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